vickywoo’s most recent Quotables

Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.

Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32ft per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.

In Papua New Guinea, there's a tribe that when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonsense, of course, but one can see their point.

If the children can't run leave them behind! Oh the simulated horror!

Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.

That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie de Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.

There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.

I wanted to play around with the format, really tear it to pieces and shake it up. For example, if Mitch saves someone from drowning, and that person then goes out and releases a virus that kills a million people. Imagine the moral implications of that.

A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

Everything is always impossible before it works

The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

Jimmy: They're laughing at us.
Chazz: Hey. They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon. Now he's up there, laughing at them.

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Remember, always be yourself... unless you suck.

Well, Ted, as I said last time, it won't happen again.

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative.