unoriginal524’s most recent Quotables

Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame, set at gas mark egg on your face.

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

It's times like these I wish I were an ostrich.

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Sticking feathers up your butt doesnt make you a chicken

The beatings will continue until morale improves

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve.

Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable.

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

I don't mind people being sick, but I don't accept them being stupid.

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Got that?

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.