1. Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

    John Barrymore

    2 loves

  2. I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes.

    Oprah Winfrey

    8 loves

  3. I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

    Jack Handey

    19 loves

  4. I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

    Mitch Hedberg

    37 loves

  5. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

    Joan Rivers

    32 loves

  6. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

    Bill Cosby

    8 loves