rlmcd009’s most recent Quotables

I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems shorter than a minute. But tell that same man to sit on a hot stove for a minute, it is longer than any hour. That's relativity.

Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.