randomzebra’s most loved Quotables

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

You know when it comes to racism, people say: "I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green." Woah, hold on now! Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em.

Sticking feathers up your butt doesnt make you a chicken

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

"Sort of" is such a harmless thing to say. "Sort of." It's just a filler. "Sort of"—it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, "sort of" means everything. Like after, "I love you." Or, "You're going to live." Or, "It's a boy!"

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

Remember people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold; but so does a hard-boiled egg.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Hobbes: Do you think there is a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me.

Life's not a garden, so don't be a hoe.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Show me a woman with a good three inches of cleavage on display, and I’ll show you a woman who, rightly or wrongly, has little faith in her powers of conversation.

Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.