randomzebra’s most recent Quotables

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

You know when it comes to racism, people say: "I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green." Woah, hold on now! Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

"Sort of" is such a harmless thing to say. "Sort of." It's just a filler. "Sort of"—it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, "sort of" means everything. Like after, "I love you." Or, "You're going to live." Or, "It's a boy!"

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

Sticking feathers up your butt doesnt make you a chicken

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Life's not a garden, so don't be a hoe.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

Show me a woman with a good three inches of cleavage on display, and I’ll show you a woman who, rightly or wrongly, has little faith in her powers of conversation.

Remember people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold; but so does a hard-boiled egg.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Hobbes: Do you think there is a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.