paulfedory’s most loved Quotables

If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Sticking feathers up your butt doesnt make you a chicken

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

You know what I do whenever I'm feeling low, I always think about that woman that got her face ripped off by a chimpanzee.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Remember, always be yourself... unless you suck.

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

You are live on Channel 4. Please do not swear.

Who is she? Who is she? Who is she?! Where did you find her?

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Only a life lived for others is worth living.

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse.