If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Submitted by ashaj almost 2 years ago
130 loves
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If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Submitted by ashaj almost 2 years ago
130 loves
Sticking feathers up your butt doesnt make you a chicken
Submitted by laura almost 2 years ago
69 loves
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
Submitted by Kaye11 over 1 year ago
63 loves
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Submitted by edd almost 2 years ago
58 loves
You know what I do whenever I'm feeling low, I always think about that woman that got her face ripped off by a chimpanzee.
Submitted by Libbyloe62 over 1 year ago
48 loves
Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me.
Submitted by fluffymoo almost 2 years ago
46 loves
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Submitted by stephenbeesley over 1 year ago
42 loves
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Submitted by cestima almost 2 years ago
37 loves
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Submitted by ashaj almost 2 years ago
36 loves
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
Submitted by paulfedory almost 2 years ago
34 loves
Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Submitted by laura almost 2 years ago
34 loves
Who is she? Who is she? Who is she?! Where did you find her?
Submitted by tomhartnell over 1 year ago
31 loves
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Submitted by ArkAngel almost 2 years ago
30 loves
No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.
Submitted by laura almost 2 years ago
26 loves
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
Submitted by JonSatriani almost 2 years ago
23 loves
Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Submitted by pixelator over 1 year ago
22 loves