paulfedory’s Loved Quotes

Just stay where you are, and don't do *anything* revenge-y until I get there, you got it?

It's *only* a dream wedding? Thank God! I did *not* want to attend.

If this were Comic-Con, I would take a bullet for that kid. But here in the real world, trespassing is a crime.

All worthy work is open to interpretations the author did not intend. Art isn't your pet -- it's your kid. It grows up and talks back to you.

Hell is empty. And all the devils are here.

Death to the living, long life to the killers. Success to sailors' wives & greasy luck to whalers.

They are not evil people that are good at Foosball. They are good at Foosball because they are evil. It's an evil game that brings out the worst in us.

That dude was hardcore racist, like 1800's Disney-style!

If any of you need anything at all: too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves like adults.

Cancel my subscription, I'm over your issues.

When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.

It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life.

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.

I have to go pee due to boredom.

On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.

I got my first job when I was nine. Child labor laws are ruining this country.

What if I get drunk and I talk about Darfur too much? Or not enough?! What if I don't bring up Darfur enough?