Orangelily01’s most recent Quotables

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.

"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Vizzini: He didn't fall?! Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

Life's not a garden, so don't be a hoe.

Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert.

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.

If religious people could be reasoned with there would be no religious people.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

J.D: I hate that stereotype that black people all yell at movie screens, y'know? Like you go to see a horror flick and you'd be yelling like, "Don't go in there, girl! He behind the do'!" It's offensive.
Turk: You wish you were allowed to yell at the screen, don't you?
J.D: Why does she go in there?! I mean, he's behind the do'!

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.

I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.