loverecklessly’s most recent Quotables

I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is f*cking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument.

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.

[He] may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.

Live every week like it's Shark Week.

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I think the phrase rhymes with "clucking bell"

You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words … have you finished?"

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need all the advice.

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.

My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Saying "I’m sorry" is the same as saying "I apologize." Except at a funeral.

He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it, hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.