loughlin’s most loved Quotables

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Three little sentences will get you through life. Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss. Number three: It was like that when I got here.

I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.

After years of research, I have concluded that Americans know precisely two British cities: London, and Narnia.

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.

This crack is really moreish.

What's another word for thesaurus?

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

If you type "Google" into Google, you can break the Internet.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.