laura’s most recent Quotables

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

I'm not going to get emotional tonight because I am a stone cold bitch.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

I absolutely hate risk. I think it’s a misnomer that entrepreneurs somehow are in love with risk and making big gambles and taking big bets. I think that’s probably true for some. It’s certainly not true for me. [...] I think the act of putting yourself in a position where you’re not forced to take on all this risk and bet everything is the hallmark of running things well.

For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about!

Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.

More often in life, we end up regretting the chances in life that we had, but didn’t take them, than those chances that we took and wished we hadn’t.

Legs! I've still got legs!! [kisses one of them.] Good. Arms, hands. Ooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears? Yes. Eyes: two. Nose... eh, I've had worse. Chin - blimey! Hair... [notes length.] I'm a girl! [checks Adam's apple.] No! No! I'm not a girl! [pulls a lock of his hair in front of his eyes and looks at it, agitated] And still not ginger! There's something else. Something... important, I'm... [taps head.] I'm-I'm...

Bow ties are cool.

Geronimo!

Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.

We are what we think. With our thoughts we make our world.

Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.

Liz: I am a grown woman! I have been doing things my way for a long time. I don't like my "life stuff" mixing with my "dude stuff."
Jack: A middle-aged woman saying "dude stuff," is that on my sadness scavenger hunt? Why yes it is!

I've spent the better part of the last 3 years developing a portable, miniature microwave oven. Most of that time has been spent coming up with a hip, edgy name for the product, something that will appeal to the marketing Holy Trinity - college students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.

Dr. Spaceman: Tracy, I don’t know how to say this… de-ay-bah-tees?
Tracy: Diabetes?
Dr. Spaceman: That's it! Well, now we know what we're dealing with.

Kenneth: Oh, Miss Lemon. You have several messages. Aw, let's see, that company running the bike tour in South Carolina says no singles. Uh, your credit card called they want to make sure you're the one buying cream soda in bulk.
Liz: I sure am.
Kenneth: And your landlord called and he says it's not the toilet, it's you.
Liz: That's his opinion.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why, I succeed.