laura’s most recent Quotables

Coach Bogner: Jeff Winger, shouldn’t you be at an Urban Outfitters?
Jeff: I’ll go there later if I feel like it.

You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide due to the unjust cancellation of Firefly.

Accidents don't just happen over and over and over again. Okay? This isn't budget daycare!

There is a time and a place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary Movie.

I'm not the worker bee type. I'm more of a silverback gorilla, with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.

I didn't realize we were really good friends. I figured we were more like Chandler and Phoebe. They never really had stories together.

Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes.

Garrett: *Was?* This is not over! This is still happening! *Right now!*
[Get's shot by Leonard]
Jeff Winger: Leonard? Leonard! I'm not playing!
Leonard: *Everyone's playing!*

Annie Edison: Let's get back to Britta and Jeff.
Jeff Winger: There is no Britta and Jeff!
Pierce Hawthorne: He said, fully erect.

Jeff Winger: Don't tell me you had sex with me just to win at paintball.
Britta Perry: No. I had sex with you and I'm going to win at paintball. Don't be gross.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.

We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.

I took a class at UCLA in judging for reality TV shows, so I’m totally ready to give feedback that’s both blistering and unhelpful. It was a really good class; I learned a lot.

The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine.

The stuff you're putting online or in your blog or in your brochures or in your business letters is too long. Too much inside baseball. Too many unasked questions getting answered too soon.

Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.