JonSatriani’s most recent Quotables

[Honeycomb] falls well short of the consistency, ease of use and stability iOS and the iPad 2 offer.

On most levels, then, the iPad 2 over-delivers. By boosting speed and graphics performance while simultaneously slimming down the chassis and preserving battery life, Apple has maintained its core strengths and extended its lead in what are arguably the toughest areas rivals face.

When it comes to tablets the iPad 2 maintains its position at the vanguard of the market.

What is fantastic about this new skull, not only is it absolutely enormous, but it is pretty much in 3D and not much distorted ... It could have taken a human in one gulp; in fact, something like a T-Rex would have been breakfast for a beast like this.

In our standard video test ... the iPad 2 managed an astonishing 10 hours and 26 minutes of non-stop playback. That beats Apple's own claims, and bests its nearest competitor -- the Xoom -- by about 2 hours.

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah"

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.

Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame, set at gas mark egg on your face.

Why is it that the winner of Miss Universe always comes from earth?

Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Note to self re: being the Fonz. Mark, you are not the Fonz.