iamageek’s most recent Quotables

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what it's really all about.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

This crack is really moreish.

After years of research, I have concluded that Americans know precisely two British cities: London, and Narnia.

When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.

I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

Dutch Gunderson: Who are you and how did you get in here?
Frank Drebin: I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.

Como éstan, bitches!

My whole family thinks I'm gay,
I guess it's always been that way.
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,
Makes them think I like... boys.