It’s an incredible con job when you think about it, to believe something now in exchange for something after death. Even corporations with their reward systems don’t try to make it posthumous.
Submitted by hohansen about 2 years ago
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Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.
This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!
But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Religions vary in their degree of idiocy, but I reject them all.
It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.