evcon’s most recent Quotables

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done … you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex!

I didn't care for that vanity card … that was one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in almost a decade.

Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you're going to need it. Badly … She's not there now and we are and I don't know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn't make the rules. Oops.

There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.

Still Winning..! Pong!

If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned. People say, 'Oh, you'd better work through your resentments.' Yeah, no. I'm gonna hang on to them, and they're gonna fuel my attack. And they're going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they're all around you. Sorry, you thought you were just messing with one dude. Winning.

Guys, it's right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.

Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee…they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show.

I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.

I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning.

I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.

Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it that way.

I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.

In politics, the angry person is generally understood to be the loser.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Lionel Logue: Do you know the "f" word?
King George VI (Bertie): Ffff... fornication?