CoachSwanson’s most recent Quotables - Quotables

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Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Submitted by CoachSwanson 6 months ago

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Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.

— Confucius

Submitted by CoachSwanson 8 months ago

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When anger rises, think of the consequences.

— Confucius

Submitted by CoachSwanson 8 months ago

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An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.

— Thomas Jefferson

Submitted by CoachSwanson 8 months ago

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The administration of justice is the firmest pillar of government.

— George Washington

Submitted by CoachSwanson 8 months ago

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Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.

— George Washington

Submitted by CoachSwanson 8 months ago

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Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.

— George Washington

Submitted by CoachSwanson 8 months ago

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Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Submitted by surgio98 11 months ago

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I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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You can't call me cracker. Only we can call each other crackers.

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. And then I dance, and they’re like ‘not like that!’

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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I shouldn’t say bad things about the illiterate, though.. I should WRITE IT. That way they won’t find out.

— Mike Birbiglia

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

— Lewis Black

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!

— Lewis Black

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.

— Lewis Black

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.

— Lewis Black

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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There's no such thing as soy milk. It's just soy juice.

— Lewis Black

Submitted by CoachSwanson 11 months ago

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