clbailey’s most recent Quotables

A person's a person, no matter how small.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves; You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

"In your own words." People say that to you all the time. Tell us in your own words. Do you have your own words? I'm using the ones everybody else is using. Next time they tell you to say something in your own words, say, "Nigflot blorny quando floon."

Do you ever find yourself standing in one of the rooms in your house and you can't remember why you went in there? And two words float across your mind: Alzheimer's Disease.

Have you noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Why isn’t my life like a situation comedy? Why don’t I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren’t my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don’t my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? …I gotta get my life some writers.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.