avatarbarin’s most recent Quotables

Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.

I'm so, so, sorry

I suppose It's better than your last guess Dougal... Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed.....

France is just a country to drive through to get to Italy.

Mrs Doyle: Ach go on you won't have one? It's got cocaine in it.
Ted: What!?
Mrs Doyle: Oh no no no, not cocaine. What's the word? Raisins.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

Bishops love sci-fi.

Teamwork is always essential in a sales force. That way you always have someone to blame.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

When I see you, the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The World just stops, and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you.

It's a sad and terrible thing that high-born folk really have thought that the servants would be totally fooled if spirits were put into decanters that were cunningly labelled backwards. And also throughout history the more politically conscious butler has taken it on trust, and with rather more justification, that his employers will not notice if the whisky is topped up with eniru.

Abnormal is so common, it's practically normal.

The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.

My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the f*ck’s really goin' on down there? Who is the real hero?

I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls, but on the day the rubber was supposed to show up a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said, "F*ck it, cut em up!"

If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

The careers teacher told me I had a clear choice: if I didn't end up going to university I'd end up robbing post offices.