ATN925’s most recent Quotables

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.

It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

DON'T PANIC.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.

What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.