Anixandria’s most recent Quotables

Two-in-one is a bull**** term because one is not big enough to hold two. That is the reason two was created.

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.

If you find yourself lost in the woods, f*ck it, build a house. "Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!"

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid.

A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.

Life's not a garden, so don't be a hoe.

I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

J.D: I hate that stereotype that black people all yell at movie screens, y'know? Like you go to see a horror flick and you'd be yelling like, "Don't go in there, girl! He behind the do'!" It's offensive.
Turk: You wish you were allowed to yell at the screen, don't you?
J.D: Why does she go in there?! I mean, he's behind the do'!

Brigadier, a straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.

Look at these people, these human beings, consider their potential. From the day they arrive on this planet and blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do... no, hold on... sorry, that's the Lion King... but the point still stands!

Detective-Inspector Bishop: Start from the beginning, tell me everything you know.
Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hand around your elbow and make your fingers meet.

Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box!