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Alcohol ranks as the fifth most harmful drug after heroin, cocaine, barbiturates and methadone. Tobacco is ranked ninth. Cannabis, LSD and ecstasy, while harmful, are ranked lower at 11, 14 and 18 respectively.
— David Nutt
Hank please we're all gay
— Charlie Runkle
My fist maybe
— Hank Moody
She has no waist... an interesting face... but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone.
— Martin Amis
The Pentagon has paid anti-war activist Noam Chomsky the highest honor any totalitarian entity can bestow upon an author: they’ve banned his book “Interventions” at Guantanamo Bay prison.
— Sherwood Ross
Single Dadness is not as easy as it looks... I barely have time to get loaded anymore
My dad is literally the biggest tight-ass. He's a miser, an Irish potato famine miser.
— Peaches Geldof
What Muslims were to BJP, Maoists are to Cong.
— Arundhati Roy
Space Makers Agency is joining forces with London & Associated Properties PLC and Lambeth Council to fill the empty shop units in Brixton Village indoor market with exciting temporary and permanent projects.
— Dougal Hine
We all have a job to do. Sgt Maj. Sixta's job is being an asshole... and he excels at it.
— Sgt. Larry Shawn 'Pappy' Patrick
Check it out, I taped my windows so I could turn my laptop on without enemies seeing the light. Cool, huh?
— Cpt. Craig 'Encino Man' Schwetje
You know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps? You get your brains back.
— Cpl. Josh Ray Person
Jail is 70 percent fact and 30 percent fiction
— Nitin Mukesh
Mark Thompson and his team have responded with a comprehensive set of proposals that strike the right balance between ensuring the BBC can attract the best people to do the job, while ensuring maximum value for the licence fee payer
— Michael Lyons
My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!
Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I will go get it and then bring it back!
We'd rather lose both games again and win the league than beat Liverpool and not win the league
— Gary Neville
It's ok we're Americans, we're here to help you!
— Lyn Cassady
Cloud bursting, it keeps me sharp.
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