Tv Quotes

Just stay where you are, and don't do *anything* revenge-y until I get there, you got it?

It's *only* a dream wedding? Thank God! I did *not* want to attend.

If this were Comic-Con, I would take a bullet for that kid. But here in the real world, trespassing is a crime.

Conrad: "You really are a son of a bitch, aren't you?"
Tyler: "Yes. It does appear that you despicable people are starting to rub off on me."

Brittany: “I just don’t understand the difference between an egg with a baby chicken inside of it and an egg with an egg in it.” Tina: “They’re the same thing!”
Brittany (distraught): “Ok, that’s really confusing, because…this is a baby chicken’s house!”

They are not evil people that are good at Foosball. They are good at Foosball because they are evil. It's an evil game that brings out the worst in us.

That dude was hardcore racist, like 1800's Disney-style!

John: Oh, please, can we not do this this time?
Sherlock: Do what?
John: You being all mysterious with your cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool.
Sherlock: I don't do that.

There's nothing we can't do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk all other responsibilities in our lives.

If any of you need anything at all: too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves like adults.

Cancel my subscription, I'm over your issues.

When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

Sookie: "I will never be Eric Northman's puppet.”
Pam: " Shame for you, then. He pulls good string."

Full price for gum? That dog won't hunt, monsignor!

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.

On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.

I got my first job when I was nine. Child labor laws are ruining this country.

Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!

What if I get drunk and I talk about Darfur too much? Or not enough?! What if I don't bring up Darfur enough?

You want it to be one way. But it's the other way.