The Office Quotes

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

I would do legal jiu jitsu on you.

In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget we went and got a nanny. And then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you...... Yup. That's exactly what we did.

I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.

Last week, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. And as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is scarier than most people using drugs.

My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. [sighs] He is very real.

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be meetings.