Monkey Quotes

I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates - it means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.

Hello, I'm Ivan Dobsky. I'm the Meatsafe Murderer, only I never done it. I had to say that I did so they'd take the truncheon out of me bottom, only there's these two nice men called "D" an' "A" and they know that I never done it and they've told everyone. Can I have a quarter of a pound of cola cubes, please?

Contrary to general belief, humans imitate apes more than the reverse.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Monkey's are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches.

It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don't know what it's like any more to be anonymous.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

I learned the way a monkey learns - by watching its parents.

I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.

I confess freely to you, I could never look long upon a monkey, without very mortifying reflections.

God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He's so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he's on the news. What a monkey.

Frank's audience doesn't care if a girl singer, a comic or an organ grinder with a monkey opens the show. They are there to see HIM.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

As a child I was the best tree climber in our neighbourhood, I was like a little monkey. I've never been afraid of hurting myself or a little physical discomfort.

And out of a desire essentially to imitate what I was reading, I began to write, like a clever monkey.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!