Misfits Quotes

Where the cash goes, the pussy follows.

We were so beautiful!

Nathan: Are you asking me out on a date?
Simon: No... I meant all of us.
Nathan: Did you? ... I am not your whore!

1: What the hell are you doing?!
2: It's, just....Pure mindless vandalism!
1: What is the matter with you!? Are you mentally defictant?!
2: If i was mentally defictant, i would have missed. Check that out .. *points to car* .. Bullseye.

Nathan - "I am not your whore!"
Simon - .....

Kelly: What am I looking at?
Nathan: Cock. Anus. Bit of ball sack..
Kelly: Err, whats that?
Nathan: That's ball sack! Its from a low angle.. jesus.

Simon: Its going to be ok, you have to do somthing, theres petrol in that can, noone can know its me. Promise me you wont tell him. PROMISE ME!
Alisha: I cant do it, I love you.
Simon: I’ll still be here
Alisha: Noo, i dont love him, i love you.
Simon: Its you falling in love with him that makes him become me. Its all coming together.
Alisha: No…Dont…Simon. *cries* F**k! oh god!

Alisha: Does something bad happen to us? Am i going to die?
Simon: I’m not going to let that happen!

Sorry you got shot man!

Simon: There is no maths
Nathan: Right, she was here plus noone else was around, times by she caught me leering at her semi naked, divided by all the weird shit that happens to us, equals guilty.

Simon: Why are you being so nice to me?
Alisha: I can be nice. Sometimes. Look, if I’ve ever been a bitch to you... I’m sorry.
Simon: I’ve never thought you were a bitch. Sometimes I think it’s difficult for beautiful girls. People don’t see past their looks.

Kelly: What about your friends? [Looking at Simon.]
Nathan: I believe that is generally referred to as a paedophile ring.
Simon: I'm not a paedophile.
Nathan: Yeah you'd screw your own sister for a slice of cheese.
Simon: I don't even like cheese.
Nathan: That makes it even worse, you sick bastard!

I spent my eighth birthday eating Swedish meatballs with a known paedophile.

That's right Dad walk away with your tiny little legs you f*cking midget!

There is a difference between us! I'm gracefully tall and your freakishly short.

We're like the Mitchell brothers, except we're not bald, ugly and shit!

He should feel for lumps... in his testicles.

Nathan: Why was he in the boot of your car?
Jamie: Because he's a twat!

I've died twice in the last two weeks... anyway who are you calling bouffant?

I haven't got a brother, I'm the classic example of an only child!