You fight like a dairy farmer!
Submitted by phil over 5 years ago
Order by: most loved | most recent
A person that seeks to do you harm is only successful in so far as you allow it. Suppose a man came with a paint brush and different colors of paint, trying to paint pictures in the air. Would he be successful in painting his pictures?
Submitted by Gustavo about 6 years ago
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Submitted by pandorasinbox almost 7 years ago
Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.
Submitted by charlesrazon almost 7 years ago
Saying ‘I notice you’re a nerd’ is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you’d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you’d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?’
Submitted by thestephb about 7 years ago
I try to make a habit of not touching carnie folk but fella, I’ll take it!
It seems like everything this year was 3-dimensional… except the characters in The Tourist. I feel bad about that joke, and I'll tell you why - I'm jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?
Submitted by robotnic about 7 years ago
That volley which we have just heard is the only speech which it is proper to make over the grave of a dead Fenian.
The Cat, the Rat, and Lovell our dog
Rule all England under a hog.
Victor Hugo was a madman who thought he was Victor Hugo.
He is collecting titles and whole Departments to add to his name. His title now amounts to, “The right hon. the Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham, First Secretary of State, Lord President of the Privy Council and Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills”. It would be no surprise to wake up in the morning and find that he had become an archbishop.
Jellicoe was the only man on either side who could lose the war in an afternoon.
[Of Ramsay MacDonald.] I have waited 50 years to see the boneless wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
It is commonly said, and more particularly by Lord Shaftesbury, that ridicule is the best test of truth.
An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.