If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
Submitted by Syzygy77 6 months ago
1 love
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If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
Submitted by Syzygy77 6 months ago
1 love
What if your 11:11 wish didn't come true because someone made a wish that nobody gets their wish.
Submitted by Nataytayy16 about 1 year ago
15 loves
"Somedays I wake up grumpy, other days I let him sleep."
— Unknown
Submitted by Teaiiano about 1 year ago
1 love
River Song: "What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?"
The Eleventh Doctor: "Its a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool."
Submitted by lilky baby about 2 years ago
12 loves
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Submitted by jimmydaniels about 2 years ago
3 loves
I was eight before I realised you could take a kagoule off.
Submitted by amaguire over 2 years ago
1 love
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
Submitted by nadeem over 2 years ago
10 loves
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Submitted by nadeem over 2 years ago
4 loves
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
2 loves
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
3 loves
"Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions."
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
2 loves
The definition of a consultant: Someone who borrows, your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege.
— Unknown
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
1 love
She looked as if she'd been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say when.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
3 loves
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
2 loves
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
2 loves
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
1 love
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
Submitted by Vagop over 2 years ago
2 loves