House Quotes

I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR?

I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! — When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.

LIFE IS PAIN !!! I wake up every morning, I'm in pain. I go to work in pain. You know how many times I wanted to just give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

"Thirteen": Friends respect each other's decisions. It's called loyalty.
House: Loyalty is a tool to get people to do things they don't wanna do.

House: There is no Heaven, there is no Hell, your soul is not gonna float out of your body and join some great unifying energy force. The fact that you're dieing is not gonna change that!

Wilson: I don't believe that we're just a bag of chemicals.

Seems the door knob needs a new house."

I meant close in a different way.

No one fixes anything unless they have a compelling reason.

Treatment for wrong diagnoses can result in side-effects, like death.

Adjectives matter. Hate nurses, love naughty nurses.

People define honor as whatever makes them feel honorable. It's a circle going nowhere. Which, I guess, is what circles do.

Women suggest a break when they want to break up. Men do it because they want to have sex with other women before they settle down.

People generally listen with their ears, leaving their eyes free to wonder.

<i>"Time changes everything"</i>

House: That's what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.

Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't teach, teach gym.

House: Good things usually happen, bad things sometimes happen.
Walter Cofield: And when bad things happen, we should figure out what went wrong so we can learn from it and correct it.
House: So we can assign blame instead of recognizing that bad things sometimes happen.

People never lie about people they hate

Wilson: I think they were happy, even if it was based on lies.
House: Most happiness is.

With great power comes great micromanaging... and great vests.

Loyalty to realestate is ridiculous, because loyalty is ridiculous.