Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
Submitted by y3teacher 7 months ago
3 loves
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My own brother a goddamn shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy.
Submitted by y3teacher 7 months ago
2 loves
Myrnin (vampire)" 'Did you know you can find almost anything on the new computer network, the Interweb? I was quite amazed'
Myrnin hadn't paid much attention in the last hundred years or so. Claire wasn't too surprised he'd discovered the Internet, though. Wait until he finds the porn. That would be a very uncomfortable conversation"
Submitted by Aurora137 8 months ago
2 loves
“Jace, you already behave as if you’ve never heard the word ‘fear’. I fail to see how we’re going to be able to tell the difference if it does work on you.”
Alec stifled what sounded like a laugh. Jace simply smiled a tight, unfriendly simile. “I’ve heard the word ‘fear,’ ” he said. “I simply choose to believe it doesn’t apply to me.”
“Exactly the problem,” said Luke.
Submitted by Aurora137 8 months ago
1 love
"The difference between doing something and not doing something, is doing something"
Submitted by rubywaddell 8 months ago
3 loves
Our site is down! We're losing fractional pennies of ad revenue every hour!
— Anonymous systems administrator
Submitted by cjc 8 months ago
3 loves
"Yes, that's what I think, and I'm super smart, so it's probably true."
Submitted by arecare 9 months ago
11 loves
Oh, George! You didn't jump in the river. How sensible of you!
Submitted by princesselisey 9 months ago
1 love
What is a simple bite on the buttocks among friends?
Submitted by princesselisey 9 months ago
3 loves
There are never failures -- only gained experience, wisdom, knowledge and lessons in life
Submitted by WaterfrontAgent 9 months ago
12 loves
Shouldn't Captain Crunch be a Colonel By Now?
— Not sure
Submitted by in2winbook 9 months ago
3 loves
Ravi Batra
haha is he a bullAlpana Mahendru
i dont think so
i didnt take cowology
so i dont know which kinda cow this is
Submitted by zzravizz 9 months ago
2 loves
It is hard for people to see eye to eye when they aren't actually looking at each other eye to eye.
Submitted by WaterfrontAgent 10 months ago
4 loves
I see a man who has serious intentions, that's Levin; and I see a peacock, like this featherhead, who's only amusing himself.
Submitted by seaweed 10 months ago
1 love
I see these fat and stupid people holding their hands as they walk down the fried food section of Walmart. Life's unfair, how come these ignorant and superficial people get to find love while we fight this magnetic force that draws us together, just because at one time I was one of those ignorant and superficial people.
Submitted by Crzybo 10 months ago
2 loves