College Quotes

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

At college age, you can tell who is best at taking tests and going to school, but you can't tell who the best people are. That worries the hell out of me.

Short-term memory is the second thing to go.
I've forgotten what the first was.

Most academics know how to take something apart, but not how to assemble it.

I thought it was gonna be like in the movies—you know, inspirational music, a montage: me sharpening my pencil, me reading, writing, falling asleep on a big pile of books with my glasses all crooked, 'cause in my montage, I have glasses.

There is a time and a place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary Movie.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

'Whom are you?’ he asked, for he had attended business college.

I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, "Verify your quotations."

Sam Seaborn: You're going back to Smith College, the cradle of feminism, to argue in opposition to the Equal Rights Ammendment?
Ainsley Hayes: And get some decent pizza, yeah.
Sam Seaborn: They're gonna hate you.
Ainsley Hayes: Sam, I'm a straight Republican from North Carolina. You don't think they hated me the first time around?

But if you wish at once to do nothing and be respectable nowadays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study…