A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Submitted by pandorasinbox over 7 years ago
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Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or, as I've always known him, Jeff.
Submitted by librariansti almost 7 years ago
Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
— Tom Sims
And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.
"Christmas is a togethery sort of holiday" said Pooh
"Thats my favorite kind" said Piglet, "Togethery and Remembery"
Submitted by allie16e over 7 years ago
The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Submitted by anclag over 7 years ago
Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
If you see a sign that says 'Peep Show', that doesn't mean they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.
Submitted by edd almost 8 years ago
I remember last year about this time... it was two o'clock in the morning, and I was sound asleep... Suddenly, out of nowhere, this crazy guy with a sled appears right on my roof. He was okay, but those stupid reindeer kept stepping on my stomach!
Submitted by paulabuzzard almost 8 years ago
Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree.
What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary. [...]Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?