Chell Quotes

GLaDOS: This is the part where he kills us.
Wheatley: Hello! This is the part where I kill you!
CHAPTER 8: THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU
Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where He Kills You (This is that part.)

Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.

You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. And then YOU showed up, you dangerous, mute, lunatic.

Look how majestically you soar through the air. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.

I'm in space!

Cave Johnson: Say goodbye, Caroline!
Caroline: Goodbye Caroline!

If the laws of physics don't apply in the future, then god help you.

Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato!

Ooh. It's dark down here isn't it? They say that the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff... of robots - all of them robots - they say at night you can still hear the screams... of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals... no memory of the incident... nobody knows what they're screaming about. Ab-solutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way.

Cave Johnson: Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons!
GLaDOS: Oh I like this guy.
Cave Johnson: I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustable lemon that burns your house down!
GLaDOS: Burn his house down! Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!

I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired.

Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men.

I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time. Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.

Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.

Well done. Here are the test results: "you are a horrible person". I'm serious, that's what it says: "a horrible person". We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that "horrible person" thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.

Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead. I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.

If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.

HA! I knew someone was alive in here. AH! Oh. My. God. You look terrible - ummm... good. Looking good, actually.

Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks - and no one's gonna ask, don't worry - but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.