Cartoon Quotes

Dot: You Lost! But you put up a heck of a fight for the literary personification of the state of non-being. I read that in Cosmo.

Oh Christmas Day, I travel 'round the world and say: Taoist, Krishnas, Buddhists and all you atheists too! Merry f*cking Christmas to you!

Just because snow is the same color as our refrigerator doesn't mean you know how it works.

All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.

All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make any sense.

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddam.

Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.

Don't get it right, just get it written.

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.

Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating roses."

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers.

A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands.

There are two kinds of light — the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.

Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.