The Big Bang Theory Quotes

Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

I bet I could throw a rock in this room and come up with three better friends!

Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn’t move… I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway!

My parents focused on celebrating achievements and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.

I don't care what the symptoms are, my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.

The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.

Ugh, this would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath!

That's right! Cuz' that's how we roll in the Shire!

All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably make an actual Hulk.

Homo habilis discovering his opposable thumbs says what?

The robot hand got stuck on your what?

12 years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested

My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.

Penny, I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.

There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.

For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.

Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.