Will McKenzie Quotes

Simon's Dad: Your've had an eventful day bunking off school, buying alchol illegally, defacing carly's drive and insulting Neil's dad, have i missed anything?"
Will: We also hit a spastic with a frispy

Will: Oh piss off
Neils Dad: dont talk to me like that in my own house!
Will: oh sorry, my manners, piss off PLEASE!!
Neils Dad: i've had enough of your lip
Will: oh you'd like my lip wouldnt you, right round your bell end! if Mr Chippy doesnt get there first! Whats he gunna knock up, a closet for you to hide in!? you BUMDER!!

Will: No one would get fingered for a bet Jay... with the possible exception of your sister.
Jay: Take that back
Will: You're right I do take that back, on the other hand your mum would probably get fingered for a packet of biscuits.

We're camping by a lake near a wood, what are you hoping to pull, a fish or an owl?

I can't use the phone, my arms won't work and my hands are sausages.

Drugs on eggs on toast? Are you not worried it might lead to harder stuff? Beans on toast? maybe a sausage?

I dont have any pubes! I did have pubes, but I had a wet dream and they fell out!

Will's Mum: I'm very lucky to have you, because you're so boring.
Will: Boring?
Will's Mum: Well, not boring, just scared of things.
Will: Scared??
Will's Mum: Sensible. That's the word I'm looking for, sensible. You're very sensible so I don't have to worry about you as much....because you're so scared.

Can somebody call me an ambulance? Because I'm in trouble. Time is moving really, really slowly, and everything is flat. I need you to call me an ambulance, or failing that, my mummy. I really want my mummy because, and I'm not being dramatic, but I think I might be dead. Is that clear? Mummy or ambulance.

I now literally have ants in my pants!

Remember fire is an element... it must be respected.

I'm a principled man, and one of those principles turns out to be I'll do literally anything a girl asks me to.

Bit over dramatic. It's only a bollock.

I went to fart and instead, shit myself.