Sue Sylvester Quotes

[on a piece of broccoli]: When I showed this to Brittany, she whimpered and thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy people lived.

Sloppy freak show babies.

I'm going to make it a habit to not stop and talk to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time.

I agree with 'Sponge Hair Square Chin'.

I'm just hoping that your singing and dancing around will pull me out of my doldrums and give me a reason to live. Is that too much to ask?

You have more grease in your hair than the guy behind Wikileaks.

As you may know, I have a background in music. For a brief period, I was tambourine player for Wilson Phillips.

You're a regular Agatha Christie. Except even more sexless.

I try to make a habit of not touching carnie folk but fella, I’ll take it!

I hate you, Diane Sawyer.

Oh! It's time to feed my gimp.

Yes, these seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends. My ghost friends. Hideous, lonely faculty members who met with an early death from good old fashioned schoolyard bullying.

It's a Britney Spears sex riot!

Santana! Wheels! Gay Kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! Shaft!

You know what, Western Ohio? We've lost the true meaning of Halloween: Fear. Halloween is that magical day of the year when a child is told their grandmother's a demon who's been feeding them rat casserole with a crunchy garnish of their own scabs. Children must know fear. Without it they won't know how to behave. They'll try frenching grizzly bears or consider living in Florida.

I won't rest until EVERY Hurricane is named "Sue".

Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Will Schuester. Sexy, non-murdering feelings. … True love always springs from true hate. I'll admit in the past I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio Secretary of State, notifying them I will no longer be carrying photo ID. You know why? People should know who I am.

Sue: [to Will] You know, I was down at the pharmacy today, and they are having a monster sale on Dep. Dep is a hair gel. And once again I am making fun of your incredibly stupid hairdo.

My parents were famous Nazi hunters, so they weren't around a lot.