I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
Submitted by ArkAngel 3 months ago
0 loves
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Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?
Submitted by y3teacher over 1 year ago
13 loves
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Submitted by ron about 2 years ago
2 loves
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I got a new dog; he's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything 'cause he's not sure what I threw him.
Submitted by ron about 2 years ago
1 love
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I've been getting into astronomy, so I installed a skylight. The people who live above me are furious.
Submitted by ron about 2 years ago
1 love
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Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
Submitted by bush13 over 2 years ago
1 love
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Submitted by bush13 over 2 years ago
3 loves
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If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
Submitted by Kaye11 over 2 years ago
1 love
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When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
Submitted by guygg over 2 years ago
2 loves
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Submitted by guygg over 2 years ago
1 love
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Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Submitted by guygg over 2 years ago
5 loves
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I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Submitted by robotnic almost 3 years ago
7 loves
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I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job."
Submitted by kirsty almost 3 years ago
1 love
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