A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Submitted by Nerdvana 11 months ago
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Submitted by pandorasinbox over 2 years ago
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Submitted by dsale over 2 years ago
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Submitted by paulabuzzard almost 3 years ago