Kurt Vonnegut Quotes

A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.

If you can’t write clearly, you probably don’t think nearly as well as you think you do.

There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.

If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don’t have nerve enough to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.

Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.

Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.

All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.

Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

All the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day...It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God.

And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did.'

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - "God damn it, you've got to be kind."

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum. Love, 2006 A.D.

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to always tell the difference.

All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States—and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

So it goes.