Three little sentences will get you through life. Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss. Number three: It was like that when I got here.
Submitted by laura over 7 years ago
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Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Submitted by JakeChampion about 7 years ago
What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder.
Marge: "Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?"
Homer: "Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."
Submitted by Oli over 7 years ago
Son, a woman is a lot like a... [looks around] a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and, um... [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Submitted by Qotemin over 7 years ago
Marge, it takes two to lie - one to lie, and one to listen.
Submitted by serendipity171 almost 7 years ago
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
Submitted by JeruBee over 7 years ago
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
I won't apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way that I am.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Submitted by amaguire almost 7 years ago