Erik Bell Quotes

Sometimes there are moments when Life actually does have a gun to your head. And the choices really are Laugh....or....Die.

I don't care if you disapprove of my girlfriend ma...I'm 16 and your opinion is as valuable to me as a 2nd class friends'. Except instead of school I have to see you every day in the kitchen.

A doctor being optimistic about an 80% chance that you survive cancer is like a spectator being optimistic about your chances as you sit at the table and play Russian Roulette with 1 round in a 5 chamber revolver.

God isn't complex. God is simple. And even if he wasn't how dare someone speak to you in riddles and then threaten to judge you if you get the interpretation wrong.

I see girls carrying purses depicting Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast with Tiffanys without knowing who Truman Capote is. People that wonder why are fat when all they drink is slimfast chocolate milkshakes. People that look at a train and wonder where it’s going without even considering the possibility of getting on it. And that’s the real crime, not being oblivious to the changes, but being oblivious to the fact that you can make them.

When you go and finish a project which takes months and years to write and edit there are a million people who will always say that they like what you wrote but would have done this or would have changed that. I always politely listen to them and think, "No you wouldn't have, because you didn't." An author needs a reader but it's definitely a hate-love relationship.

I like my women, like I like my whiskey. 18 years old and mixed up with coke!

You can hope, because it is contagious. You can be optimistic because it breeds action. You can have faith and belief because ignorance is preferable to what you can realistically prove... Or you can just go ahead and be cynical or pessimistic, because If you choose either of those you will never be disappointed. No matter what you pick there will always be a silver lining.

I'm not sweet. I just wear Little Red Riding Hood's cloak well.

Go left. Go right. Don't do it, do it. Yeh those are choices that anyone can see. But only smart people recognize that not doing anything is a choice all on its own. You just chose not to make a choice.

I know she still wants to be my friend. But after loves confession that's impossible. Because no matter what I say I'm going to make another move, and she'll reject me. She'll be mad because I made a move and I'll be made because she rejected me. And the vicious cycle of love and rejection befalls whatever else there could be.

I see these fat and stupid people holding their hands as they walk down the fried food section of Walmart. Life's unfair, how come these ignorant and superficial people get to find love while we fight this magnetic force that draws us together, just because at one time I was one of those ignorant and superficial people.

(Using a blow dryer on his crotch)
Girl: What are you doing?
Guy: I'm heating up your dinner.

Half of the Dietary aisle at Walgreens has words like "Chocolate" and "Milkshake" in it. Returning customers go back there every week and wonder why its not working. Call me old-fashioned but something tells me that if your trying to lose weight you should be avoiding chocolate. Crazy idea though I know.

Its January 31st 2012, and it is 60 degrees in the City of Chicago, but that's not global warming, nah. The religious folk say that God is just opening his arms and giving the world a big hug today.

It's not my fault, don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

Just because I choose to act unethically, does not mean that I don't know what the right way is

Yeh well don't tell me thats how it is... The publisher might change the cover of the book but the chapters stay the same

Don't tell me that something is Gold when it turns Green in the shower

Having an extremely hot girl as a platonic friend is like someone giving a kid in a wheel chair a ball...Wow Jeez Mr. Thanks alot for the football, that was awfully nice of you.