Dr. Gregory House Quotes

I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR?

No one fixes anything unless they have a compelling reason.

Treatment for wrong diagnoses can result in side-effects, like death.

Adjectives matter. Hate nurses, love naughty nurses.

People define honor as whatever makes them feel honorable. It's a circle going nowhere. Which, I guess, is what circles do.

People generally listen with their ears, leaving their eyes free to wonder.

<i>"Time changes everything"</i>

House: That's what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.

Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't teach, teach gym.

House: Good things usually happen, bad things sometimes happen.
Walter Cofield: And when bad things happen, we should figure out what went wrong so we can learn from it and correct it.
House: So we can assign blame instead of recognizing that bad things sometimes happen.

With great power comes great micromanaging... and great vests.

Loyalty to realestate is ridiculous, because loyalty is ridiculous.

Dangerous people don't break into your home, they live in it.

Its easy to do what your heart says, difficult to do what your brain says, especially when you've been thinking using a much smaller organ throughout your life.

Death is a consequence, not a symptom. If it's not a symptom, it's not relevant.

Following your heart is easy, following your brain is tough. Especially after years of following that much smaller third organ. That's why ALL parents screw up ALL children!

All parents screw up all children

If porn was bad, why would there be so many nuns in it?

Everybody dies alone

If you're emotionally invested, you cannot make rational decisions.

Every hero has its kryptonite.