Crane/Kauffman Quotes

Monica: MICHAEL FLATTLEY LORD OF THE DANCE!
Joey: The Irish jig guy??!?
Chandler: HIS LEGS FLAIL ABOUT AS IF INDEPENDENT FROM HIS BODY!

Ross: Don't you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard abs?
Chandler: No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts!

Ross: I love marriage...
Phoebe: Seriously? You?... Divorce-O?
Ross: If you have to call me a name I'd prefer 'Ross the Divorcer'. It's just cooler.

Parker: I'm sorry if I put a good spin on everything. It's who I am, I'm a positive person.
Phoebe: No, I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus... on prozac... in Disney Land... getting laid

Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.

Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!

Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.