Bo Burnham Quotes

And my friend is black,
But I don't know what to call him.
So I just call him
Jamal
Even though his name is Steve...

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!

Humor is often linked to shared experience,
Like a guy gets up and says,
"Have you noticed that public restrooms have really inefficient handdryers?"
Oh my god, yes I have, hahahaha,
Really good point, they should....fix that,
It's good to know that somebody finally gets me,
Because my wife divorced me which has unconsciously forced me,
To lose all sense of self.
So it's nice to think about hand dryers and not that cheating whore...

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

My whole family thinks I'm gay,
I guess it's always been that way.
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,
Makes them think I like... boys.

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f*ckin' bitch all the time.

YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas. If by people you mean 13 year old girls and by ideas you mean how they love the Jonas Brothers.

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.

Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.

What's that? My six song album entitled "Bo Fo Sho" is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I'll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

Cause I'm bo yo
I'm the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think you're better or not
Think you're better your not
Don't need a sweater I'm hot
And if I can't think of another rhyme then I ought,
To think of one.