Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

"For what indeed? — For that which we accord to even the meanest creature without sense to demand it, denying it only to the wretched of our own race: for the blessed release, the rite of uttermost compassion, the coup de grâce."

Idiot, noun. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

Scriptures, noun. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Faith, noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Day: A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.

PREJUDICE, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

HISTORY, n. An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Dawn:  When men of reason go to bed.