Alan Partridge Quotes

Partridge: So, how many people were killed in the Irish famine?

Irish Producer: Erm, two million, and another two million had to leave the country.

Partridge: Right. I mean, if it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day, you’re will pay the price if you’re a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate then they could afford to eat in a modest restaurant.

Smell my cheese

I'm in the helicopter now as we look down on these cyclists, that look somehow like cattle in a mad way—but cattle on bikes.

I've got the biggest TV in the world. It's six foot across, and it's like a big eye and it stares at me. It scares me, I don't like it, I don't wanna go home tonight!

Jet from Gladiators to host a millennium eve barndance from Yeovil aerodrome. Properly policed. It must not turn into an all night rave.